Daydream
by Stupid Froggy
Summary: A collection of Jin's thoughts.


No one wants to be lonely, I don't want to feel like this again.

That's how I feel when I'm among the other fighters. Lonely. All of them, know each other, all of them come back for a specific reason every year. They can't keep themselves away from it. They have friends, rivals, and even some lovers. Strangely enough. Why am I here?

It's the only connection I have left to my...

Family?

Family never meant much to me. I thought it would be different when I met the rest of them.  
My mother instilled so much hope in me.  
It was shattered when I met Heihachi.

I sighed just upon remembering that crazy old fucker. I'd be seeing him soon. I shivered.

Then there's Kazuya.  
No I won't refer to him as "Father."

I have to wonder how my mother and him even ended up in the same room.  
He's the devil. Literally.

I sigh to myself.

The "devil's son"

That's what I was.

It's hard to wake up everyday.  
Sometimes I think about just ending it. That way the bloodline will end.

But deep down I know my mother would want me to keep going.  
There's something here I have to do.  
I can't help but stare at my father wondering just what she saw in him.

Heihachi said Kazuya was a lot like me. So did some of the older fighters.  
Sometimes I wonder if somehow he was. Before the Devil's power.  
What if he was just as lost as me with the Devil's power? What if my mother saw that and loved him?  
She must've understood him, his rage, all of it.

Could someone understand me?  
I give myself a light laugh.

No, it couldn't have been like that.  
I'm alone. No one will understand me.

There are people that try to get close.  
Xiao, Hwoarang.

They don't understand.  
They probably think I'm just some quiet asshole...I think they pity me.

They don't know what's really under my skin...

They're the closest to me...I keep them at a distance.

I know they mean well but...I can't let any blood be shed for this bloodline any longer.

Sometimes I daydream.

I day dream about a life where I could take Xiaoyu to get icecream and ask her about school, and how her Master is doing and new techniques, how her annoying friend is doing, how she is doing, I always hear her say my name in concern. Always worried about me. I want to hear about her mundane school day again, how panda ate something she wasn't supposed to, how the other girls in school love panda, how there was a sale on cute hair accessories, that new movie that's coming out that she's really excited to see.

I'm worried about her. I always tell her of the evil that's attached to these tournaments, it's not safe for someone so pure, but still she comes back. I just want her to be okay. I know I could never say these words to her, it never comes out, I'm always quiet and she starts talking.

She's got a heart of gold truly believing that my family can become one again.

She doesn't know the truth. I don't want to put her through that.

I day dream about a life where I could spar with Hwoarang, we could meet up and have fights, and tell each other where the other's technique is lacking, I could talk to Baek he could teach me that spin kick Kazuya uses, I could train with Hwoarang, and do dumb childish and unnecessary motorbike races in the street. I want to actually answer back when he says something like " I kicked your ass Kazama" I want to say something clever back to make him mildly irritated. More than anything else...I want to be his friend. I want to know why the military was chasing him, the real story...why he started Tae Kwon do...How he met Baek.

Would he accept me if he knew I had cursed blood? What if I lost control while sparing?  
He's seen my true self.

He's not always itching for a fight anymore. Not a word since the last tournament.  
His bike was his favorite thing...I destroyed it.

I see him around talking to Steve Fox a lot lately.  
They're tag partners, and rivals...I hear Steve even trains with Baek and Hwoarang as well.

He wants nothing to do with me because of the devil gene.

I don't blame him.

I daydream of a life where I can talk to my so called Uncle Lee and tell him his Violet disguise ain't shit and he needs to stop.  
I daydream of a life where I can ask Lars about his past, and apologize for antagonizing him for his love for Alisa. I don't understand it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.  
I daydream of a life where I can listen to Lei Wulong tell me stories about my mother and him from the 2nd tournament.  
I day dream of a life where I can Tell Brian Fury to calm the fuck down.  
I daydream of a life where I can acknowledge Asuka as my cousin and go meet her side of the family, maybe they aren't batshit crazy. Maybe I could learn more of the Kazama arts.  
I daydream of a life where I can apologize to Miguel about his sister and make it up any way I can.  
I daydream of a life where I can help console Leo and tell her that I can relate to the loss of her mother.  
I daydream of a life where I can stop all the bloodshed of the Zaibatsu.

I daydream of a life where I can finally be rid of the devil gene.  
I daydream of a life where I can finally stop the fighting of my family.  
I daydream of a life where I can finally hear my mother's voice again.

The first tear is shed.

I daydream of a life where I can finally live again.  
I daydream of a life where I can be heard.  
I daydream of a life where I can open up.

More came down my face.

I daydream of a life where I can just be human.

I was crying.  
I was crying in the middle of this waiting room. Suddenly I feel someone standing over me where I sat.

"You crying Kazama?" Forrest law's voice say.

I kept my head down. I couldn't let him see my face.  
I slowly rose up.  
I walked out without a word.

Emotions are natural and real.  
But not for someone such as me.

But just this once...just this once can I let this go...?  
I can cry. I can feel.

Weak.  
Weak is the only thing going through my head.

The devil's voice, and my father's voice, my grandfather's voice.  
Weak

WEAK.

I clench my fist.

By now I'm outside. I breath in the nights air.

I focus on the only voice that matters.  
My own.

My name is Jin Kazama.  
I'm not a devil.  
I'm not a tyrant.  
I'm not Kazuya's son.  
I'm not the leader of the Mishima Zaibatsu I'm not the one to blame.

For a second I want to believe that I'm not all these things.

I'm Jin Kazama.  
A human.

The end.

* * *

 **I was having a mental breakdown, Tekken 3 was on pause, and Chance the Rapper was playing, I remember crying...I was paused on Jin's stage versus Eddie, I was trying to calm myself down so I started thinking about something else. My chest was pounding and I forced myself to look at the screen because I had to get my mind off of it. I began to just stare at Jin.**

 **I thought about his character until I calmed down, and I just started typing what I was thinking.**

 **Don't worry I'll come with more ratchet ghetto stories soon, I just felt like this one had to be posted.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed~!**

 **\- The realest frog nigga that didn't post any gay shit this time.**


End file.
